Saturday, December 24, 2005

While looking through a couple of old books, I chanced upon a book I would deem as rather interesting, along with my entire archie comic collection. =] The book dates back to my dad's army days.

Title of the book: '2000 insults for all occasions'. Haha. Pretty nifty, I should say. However, I doubt I would actually use one of those. But hey, they do provide some degree of humour and entertainment. Check these out:

- He has a chip on his shoulder. It's a splinter from the wood above it.
- He even wrinkles his brow while reading the comics.
- She's like yesterday's coffee-a little weak in the bean.
- If ignorance is really a bliss, he's the world's happiest guy.
- He's hard at work on an invention- colour radio
- They've named a Chinese restaurant after him- Low. I. Queue.
- He had to see his doctor in the morning for a blood test, so he stayed up all night studying for it.
- She can't find a thing to buy in antique shops. She claims they're not making antiques nowadays nowadays like they used to.
- It would take a surgical operation to get an idea into his head.
- His doctor tells him that exercise will kill germs. He says it's silly-how can you get germs to exercise?
- She keeps her baby in a high crib on an uncarpeted floor, so she can hear him if he falls out.
- They put better heads than his on umbrellas.
- An intelligent thought dies quickly in his head- it can't stand solitary confinement.
- He has a one-track mind, and the traffic on it is very light.
- If it wasn't for the changes in weather, she'd never be able to start a conversation.
- He should be careful not to let his mind wander. It's too weak to be allowed out alone.
- Everything you say to her goes in one ear and out the other. There's nothing to block traffic.
- She was invited to a bridal shower, so she brought soap.
- Her husband's name is Otto, and she still can't spell it backwards.
- He goes to a fortuneteller who charges $10 to read brilliant minds, and $5 for average minds. For him it's only 50 cents.
- He stopped a guy from beating his donkey- a real case of brotherly love.

There are loads of other insults for egotists, juvenile delinquents, liars, snobs, wives and what not. Haha. Pretty interesting, I would say. Comes in handy when in need of a hearty laugh and for sheer fiendish fun. Anyway, cheers!! =]


Posted by Vibha at 9:08 PM